The How’s
List in your mind things you want, all things you like to do, people you admire (this can include activities, clothes, hobbies… etc.)
Be Prepared to get hurt – Eliminate ALL.
Identify your ego, humanize it
Go through mourning of the old you
Surround yourself with a couple of trusted people for encouragement and that will serve as your mirrors
Rebuild yourself with new values, hobbies, jobs, items
Put your values into practice
Help others – be their nonjudgmental, positive mirror so they too can too rid of their egos.
The Why’s
1. You must make a mental list or physical list of everything that makes you, you. This is because the ego hides between your everyday habits, it hides within the people you admire and look up to, and the things you want and the things you “think you need”. The goal here is to eventually eliminate all those habits, all the people, everything that is holding a space in your life. FYI, positive things like working out, or being social, or doing great in your career can essentially be driven by your ego. And even though those habits may “SEEM” positive if not driven from the right source of purpose ( A purpose that aligns with the truer inner you) it can be detrimental to you in the long run. A Egotistical habit no matter how positive it may sound on the surface will lead you to wasted time. It can lead to regret and leave you at your death bed apologizing and regretting for all that lost and wasted time.
2. To move on from this step you first have to be totally honest with yourself, for example if you spend a lot of money on name brand clothes that might something driven by your ego no matter how GOOD you think they make you look! This is just one very simple and common example to illustrate that your ego can apply to all areas of your life. WARNING!!! You CANNOT half ass this step. I know I’ll lose a lot of you in this process when you get HERE simply because it will require a lot of heartache and the EGO does not like heartache and sometimes the ego wins. And that’s okay. If you aren’t ready, retry later… If you are ready than know that because you’re ready does not mean that this part will be easy. For example, if you’ve always wanted a Burberry jacket and that’s been your motivation to work hard and keep your job, or to push extra for OT at work. YES, I am asking you to let go of some of your dreams, some of your motivation…. Why? Because that motivation is possibly not derived by the appropriate source. OR….. maybe it is… however how will we know if we don’t examine it? Will eliminating the jacket risk you becoming someone who is no longer motivated at work? Yes. There will be collateral damage and that’s a risk you have to be willing to take.
At this point, you might be asking me, “Mary, then why would I continue?
Why be motived by anything at all? And my answer is, those are exactly the questions I need you to ask yourself!!!! Keep going you’re on the right path!
WHY????
Why do I work so hard?
Why do I want this or that?
Why am I driven by this?
Why is this so important to me?
Why do I spend my time with these people or at this place?
3. Humanizing your ego is even harder than step 2. Now that you’ve identified some of the characteristics where your ego may hide behind. At this point, you must imagine your ego as a separate person from you. What does that person look like? What do they have ( what clothes do they wear, what friends does it hang out with, what habits does it have, what are some of it’s personality characteristics). Also look at what they don’t have (do they lack friends, emotions, acquaintances, money, problems) and why do they lack those things. Now, this is important.
How do you feel about this separate person?
1. Do you admire them? Or
2. Do you pity them?
* Once you have an answer, go deeper and analyze that "why". This is where your deepest egotistical motivation lies. And now use your common sense, for example if you admire that they stay emotionless and they don’t get hurt easily and and they display characteristics that are of a “sassy bitch” or they act like a “fuckboy” than you can understand how you might be displaying some of those qualities, and then decide are these the qualities I want to display? Is this how I want to be perceived. If the answer is yes, that's okay too. Remember the end point is to be true to yourself and not true to your circumstances or ideologies of others.
4. Confusion, now that “they’ve” inherited some of your likes and dislikes what does that leave you with? Plain and simple. If you’ve followed the process as well as you possibly can, then pretty close to nothing. Most of your wants gone, most of your “hopes” diminished, most of your motivation simmered. When at this step you have to remember to be patient with yourself, have sympathy and mourn the person you once were. It hurts as it would hurt losing anything else in your life that you identify with. The deeper you dug into yourself the harder this step is.
5. If at this point you still have friends, true friends that you trust, friendships that aren’t forced or superficial then rely on some of them as you transition to this “original elevated you”. You don’t want a lot of input and opinions about what to do next with yourself, but you will need some encouragement to get thru this part of the process. And those that already saw you for the “real deeper” you will understand why you had to get eliminate so much from your life.
6. Out of the whole process this might be the funner side of diminishing your ego, this is when you are able rebuild yourself from a new perspective. Pick the kind of people you want in your life (some of those people will include people you already had in your life prior to going thru this process), but now you understand why they are a part of your life. Choose new hobbies, or keep old ones but understand why you are spending your time on this. If you dug deep enough in step 2 than you should understand that you shouldn’t have hobbies to keep yourself busy from dealing with real issues and emotions going on in your life, when you make friends or choose to stay in friendships you do so because you genuinely like the people’s company, not because you need something from them, or they need something from you and they make you feel obligated. When you go to work, you do so because it gives you a sense of accomplishment or duty, not because you NEED to. When you buy something, you do so because it adds purpose to your life, (i.e. convenience, investment, genuine happiness.. etc.)
7. So now that there’s a “cleaner, simpler, clearer” version of you out in the world, one that reflects the true inner you, so what do you do next? You realize that you now put out an energy of genuineness that is not very common in the world today or ever. You talk about your experience you, and either directly or indirectly you will encourage others to do the same.
8. Be warned that your ego is fed by ourselves, by our surroundings, by our peers. Understand that because you did this ONCE in your life. You do not get an ego free green card for the rest of your life. This step is one of the MOST important steps because it is the reason why a lot of the people in our world today claiming to be “woke” can become so judgmental of others. And act on the contrary of what that word entails. By riding of your ego, you have been raised to a higher level of consciousness. But this is a process that will need to be practiced over and over. We will always have insecurities, we all will always inherit ideologies by our society. It’s your job to ensure that you control your ego. The last thing to do is judge those who haven’t or won’t go thru this process. Cus, let me tell you, that’s a quick trip back to step 1!